I Should Never Speak Words

If you know me, you know I have a thing with words. With all humility I can muster, I am not terrible at writing, in fact, I think it’s one of my strongest attributes. Not to say that I have an overwhelming vocabulary, but I think I can string a few nice lines together. Verbally, not so much.

I should probably just not be allowed to speak. Too many words have I butchered the pronunciation without even realizing, until of course someone shouts it in my face. Paradigm, satiety, and traipsing to name some of the more recent words. Phrases are also something I should very much stay away from and not just because they’re cliche.

For example, when my mom asked me how my car was driving after it’s surgery (new battery), I told her it “was smooth as a sailor.” She kept talking past it so I thought I had gotten away with my mistake, but she made a point to mention that was not the correct statement near the end of conversation. It’s smooth as…well, actually, I can’t remember. The sea, maybe? In which case, I was close.

Perhaps the worst of all was when I explained to a friend how some guy gave me attitude. The expression is “gave me lip,” but I said “gave me tongue,” which is just completely wrong to say out loud to someone. He was very calm in correcting me, but I still had to slap face to palm. Or is it palm to face? I DON’T KNOW!

My sister says my struggle is because I am a strong and frequent reader. I must pick up my vocabulary from reading, which means I wouldn’t necessarily hear the words. I am also a champion speller, which backs up the reading theory.

What I think she’s trying to say is that I’m a genius and I overwhelm everyone with my unique ability to bypass every rule in the English language and just go with what sounds right in my own damn brain.

Point 1: Caitlin. Point 0: World.

Let’s see, for food, the past few days. Breakfast yesterday was peanut butter pancakes, lunch was a cheese, spinach, and red pepper quesadilla, and dinner was turkey tacos.

Yesterday was my rest day from official exercise, but I did go for a refreshing, brisk walk around my neighborhood.

Today, I had a piece of wheat toast with a smear of peanut butter and half a banana before my workout. Post-workout, I had a cup of Greek yogurt with blueberries and granola. Lunch was out with my mom and it was a Greek salad with toasted ravioli. Yum!

I killed it at the gym this morning. I started off with an awesome Spin class that wrecked my legs (in a good way) and finished off with a few strength circuits. First, I mixed up triceps and chest exercises and followed it up with leg and core workouts.

Some shopping, dining, and studying followed.

Happy Friday, people! Hug your loved ones a little harder, live your lives a little brighter, be kind, forgive, and relax.

Glitzy McJingles Has A Way With Words So Long As She Doesn’t Speak

A couple of updates from yesterday’s post are in order. First, I would like to point out that Gilmore Girls once again used the word “traipsing” in an episode, leading me to believe that their thesaurus was stuck on one page and that the writers are time travelers who read this blog and incorporated the word into every other word to mess with me.

Such a thing reminds me of a conversation I was having last night over dinner with my mom when I told her about how I shared my word mispronunciation with you all. She laughed and agreed that it’s better to hear in person, but then I realized, I mixed up the two interpretations of acquiesce. I claimed the actual pronunciation as the erred way I thought it sounded and offered you all the way it actually is as false. That explanation seems confusing even to me and I edited it five times. In conclusion, acquiesce is pronounced in that fancy way that strings out the sounds and not in the jumbled manner I said it all in one. I am not the poetic genius I once thought I was for all of five hours.

It’s really a good thing I didn’t record it!

This is almost as bad as the time I exclaimed “Whoa!” as “Wow-a!” But I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that.

Another update is a reminder that things are not always as they seem, however good intentioned. Yesterday, I was fluttering around running errands and performing assorted tasks, that by the time I headed out for that run I promised, it was already darkening and I had to stopper my plans. Time and daylight are now of the essence and I had to choose walking my dog and pulling up my garden over my run. I abhor running inside when I can still run outside, so instead, I switched up my planned rest day from today, Thursday technically, and took it yesterday and ran today. As it turns out, the weather was nicer and I got myself up and out at a decent time, being more aware. I view this as a win.

What is not a win is my now seemingly weekly occurrence of slicing my thumb while chopping potatoes. On the same thumb. On the very same slice. Yes, I recut open my cut. It’s so embarrassing that I needed to share. I’m usually very careful and precise with chopping, but for whatever reason, the knife has a vendetta against my left thumb. Fortunately, I was much more prepared with how to stop the bleeding with an ice cube, an elastic band, and firm pressure. It’s looking pretty gross now though.

IMG_0675.JPG

How gross do my wrinkly hands look? I am a fervent hand-washer in addition to swimmer, so this time of year takes a beating on my hands. Lotion up!

Such a thing is oddly timely because I thought I would be a nice, caring daughter and start picking up the leaves for my dad, but my hunger pains were escalating after my run so I decided to have lunch first. Then I decided to chop up some potatoes to make for fries later, for him, and ended up with the hurt thumb and inability to rake. Once again, good intentions don’t get you as much credit, mostly because it looks silly to point out what you were going to do but didn’t end up executing. Oh wait…

I prefer to claim my mistakes and mock them as my own because that way, when people attempt to use such an incident against you, they are mocking with you, not at you.

A final numerous anecdote I want to mention is this post circulating Facebook about Elf Names. It takes your first initial in your first name as well as your birth month and matches you to a nickname. Mine was appropriately deemed “Glitzy McJingles,” which obviously makes me a princess elf. Some of the other elf name combinations we had were Pixie Angel Eyes, Tinker Sparkly-Nose, Buddy Snow-Bum, Glitzy Sugar-Socks, Pudding Sparkly-Nose, and my personal favorite, Pudding Glitterballs, but I won’t say who it belongs to (hint, my brother). The other appropriate elf nickname belonged to that of my cat, Bandit: Nipper Floppy-Feet because he’s a biter and sounds like an elephant when he runs down the stairs.

IMG_0547.JPG

But he sure is cute!

Traipsing About: Words and Workouts

I’ve been watching quite a bit of Gilmore Girls lately, thanks Netflix, and I’m really enjoying it. When it was on, I would watch an episode here or there, but it was never one of my core shows. The dialogue moves fast, but that’s one of the aspects I like about it. As a writer, I am trying to learn more about how dialogue flows and pertains to certain characters, so really, it’s a learning process when I watch…

One thing I’ve noticed is how frequently they use the word “traipsing.” This might seem like an odd stand-out, but the emphasis stems from the fact that I learned how to properly pronounce traipsing from the show. It’s difficult to convey to you my history of mispronouncing words, mostly because the element of humor and appreciation would be best viewed from hearing it. There was the “compromise” situation that started it all, pronounced by me, “com. promise.” Most recently, I learned that the word “acquiesce is not pronounced in the manner I always assumed (and to be honest, my pronunciation is far prettier). I tended to stretch out the word when apparently it’s just a jumble. I can’t even explain how I would say “traipsing,” but I’ve learned and now Gilmore Girls won’t let me forget it. Lesson learned!

Onto some exercise talk, which starts with the swim I did last Thursday where I last left you. My incorporation of sprints in my swim time is fun, necessary, and exhausting. It does make swimming, which has the tendency to be boring and repetitive lap after lap, move more quickly and adds another challenge. It wipes me out in a good way and I feel more satisfied when leaving.

The more I exercise and it has been an ingrained habit, the less effect exercise has on my body. In order to do real “damage,” and I mean that on a positive level, I need to keep upping the challenges and this becomes difficult. Sprints are one way I blast through a plateau. I add them in my swimming, running, biking, and jump roping and I’m planning on including them in my strength workouts for this month as well. I’ve mentioned quite a bit about Tabata intervals, which means you perform one move for twenty seconds, rest for ten seconds, over a course of four minutes. This is an effective workout and should be included with the more stable exercises, such as a longer, steadier run, swim, bike ride, etc. Having the body go from a resting state to a high intensity state has an awesome effect on your body and fitness level. I like to leave my workouts with a thick glaze of sweat coating my body, which has proved more difficult than it has in the past. Having to up the ante may seem like an annoying, difficult process, but I see it as an accomplishment and challenge to go even further.

On Friday, I headed to the gym to do a series of strength workouts. I started on the barbells doing a series of key moves like deadlifts, bench presses, squat presses, and leg presses. Since I was crunched for time, I moved onto a couple of kettlebell circuits that get in both strength and cardio exercises.

Before the fun adventures on Saturday night, I went out for a run. I started off feeling ambitious about the hills, but my body was tired and not on the same page, so I took a few of them at a slow run or even a fast walk. Hill runs are another element I want to include in my workout a few times a week. I’ll start at one and see how it goes and hopefully add more the better I get at it.

I do love working out and it is my biggest stress relievers, however, I have no shame in informing you that I planned my rest day last week to fall on my birthday. I was too busy celebrating with friends and family to fit in any time at the gym. The effects of a relaxing, fun rest day was just what I needed to rejuvenate and I headed into the gym on Monday raring to go! I got through a strength workout that incorporated some moves using medicine balls and the stability balls, including that burpee move I couldn’t get through last week. I followed up my strength workout with another swim and felt nice and tired, but energized on my way home.

I renovated my strength workouts a bit and on Tuesday, I tried out my new dumbbell routine using the stability ball. This helps my core while strengthening my muscles. I did a circuit that included shoulder presses, lying tricep extensions, shoulder flies, and bench presses. I was once again a bit overly ambitious and attempted to perform some plank rows with my feet on the stability ball. This will have to be an accomplishment I work towards and instead had no trouble balancing on the ground. After four sets of twelve, I moved on to do two kettlebell circuits that focused on strength and core work. To end, I tried to jump rope, but for some reason, I wasn’t in my groove and couldn’t keep a consistent pace.

I’m headed now to do a Yoga sequence before traipsing* out for a run. Here’s to hoping I don’t slip on any wet, gross leaves. You’ll hear about it if I do!

*I realize that traipsing means moving without care, but I couldn’t resist the pun!

How Do You Say…?

I have the unfortunate tendency to pronounce words wrong. I mean, I’m an English major and I’m good at it. When I was in fifth grade, I was the ultimate winner of Cow Dictionary. I think there were only five times or less that someone else won. The first round we ever played was a practice round and I was eliminated first and it was humiliating so I vowed never to do that again. Though one word does evade me always, kindergarten or kindergarden. “D” or “T”? I still don’t know.

Let me just say, I am a champion speller and that just proves it, except for the very last thing I mentioned. But I cannot pronounce words correctly for the life of me.

Example One: My mom was driving with my sister sitting up front and me in the back. I was browsing through a magazine and came upon a word I didn’t know the definition.

Me: Mom, what does libido mean? *pronounced li-bid-do.

Mom: Excuse me?

Lauren: Oh my God.

Me: Li-bid-do

Mom pulls over while her and my sister are choking on their laughter.

Mom: It’s li-bee-do and it means sex drive.

Lauren: You’re dumb.

Example Two: This happens all of the time so there’s no general timeframe, but I cannot pronounce the word “compromise.” I call it com-promise as in “com” and the word “promise.” I don’t know why the word isn’t just like that because it makes much more sense, but apparently whoever came up with compromise, couldn’t compromise and wanted a fancy pronunciation.

Example Three:

Me: WHOA! *wow-a*

My friend Bobby: What?

Me: WOW-A!

Bobby: It’s just whoa. There’s no “a.”

Me: There’s an “a” in the spelling.

Bobby: Just don’t talk.

Example Four: At a funeral.

Me: Mom is putting on her nurse facade. *hard “c”

Lauren: A what?

Me: A facade.

Lauren: It’s facade. *soft “c”.

Me: My whole life has been altered.

Not great.

That’s Katja creeping in the background. Where she belongs!! Just kidding Katja!

Also, I should be famous. I would be the best famous person. Not only do I have astronomical talents, but I have a slightly diva attitude that would work well in that industry. Plus, my personality is definitely larger than life that feels contained sometimes just living this life of a college student. People just don’t understand me. When I say I’m going to be famous they just look at me and walk away.

Angst. Angst. Like that Potter Puppet Pals. See, I’m perfect for theatre!

This is Bandit. He is smarter than me.