Time

They say time heals all wounds, which is sad because it advances on the human capacity to move forward. Right now, I’m okay, getting through, because even as my own world has shifted, life as a whole does not stop. It’s an old cliche. Death means pain, but it’s a product of love, which makes living worth it. Funny, in that it’s not funny at all, how we so easily forget our own mortality until it’s forced upon us.

The weekend was a weird one and I can’t say that I’m sad it’s over. I took a good amount of time for myself to reboot. The weather isn’t helping my mood, considering it’s April 4th and snowing. On the bright side, I do seem to have a fowl problem. On the way to the gym on Saturday, I had to stop thanks to a flock of geese crossing the road and on the way home, I had to make another stop for some turkeys. Strange, but I had to laugh.

On Saturday, I had to run inside on the treadmill thanks to a rainy day. As it turns out, if I had waited until later that afternoon, I could have run outside as the sun flashed itself, but it was still a good workout. On the treadmill, I have trouble with boredom (who doesn’t?!) so I decided on an interval program that followed the pyramid method. I started at 6 minutes of walking at a slight incline, then ran for 6 minutes at a slower pace. As I went to 5-4-3-2-1 minutes, I increased my incline for walking and speed for running. It was effective! To finish, I used the Tabata interval method by sprinting for 20 seconds and recovering for 10 seconds over 4 minutes. By the end, I was tired and looking like a sweaty mess. No matter how hard I work, nothing affects me quite like running. To finish the workout, I went through a plank-heavy core workout.

Sunday was the official start of the week for my workouts, which meant it was biceps and shoulders day. Last week, I performed each exercise for 8 reps and 6 sets, which is long and exhaustive. Even though the end result is the same, I found the 12 reps and 4 sets that I did yesterday to be friendlier. I did six exercises for each body part, including core, before fitting in some quality cardio time on the elliptical.

Though I spent an unfortunate amount of time being lazy and procrastinating, I did get some writing done, something in which I’ve been slacking. The unfortunate thing about writer’s block is that it’s exacerbated by not keeping up the habit, so I’ve pretty much been screwed. Here’s to making time for it, just as I do every day for exercise.

Healing occurs through living and experiencing, and so, I’m trying.

At the very least, there will be baseball today. (Picture found somewhere online probably).

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Go Sox! (Picture taken by me…)

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Working through Grief

I am deeply sorry for the victims and their families in Oregon. I am also mad as hell. As I try to comprehend what has happened, again and again, I find it harder to cope.

It’s more than a political issue. It’s more than finding better ways to help people with mental illness. It’s more than how the media portrays it and how we react.

I don’t have the answers, but I know this complacency we have settled into isn’t enough.

Writing is my sanctuary. I am not much of a poet, but this was in my heart. I hope to share with you, through my writing, my grief, fear, and anger. It’s the only way I know how.

Spread

I see my face in all the victims

Splattered blood spreads but I’m not sure from where

Might as well be mine

As it happens all the time.

No action speaks louder than broken promises

Thoughts and prayers go devoted to unknown people

Families grieve and we say sorry

I try to sleep but I’m full of worry.

These are our children we raise to be good

Greeting the world with their heads down in this land of the free

Bang, a loud noise hangs in the air

It was nothing this time but I’m covered in tears.

Watching a movie, the darkness suffocates and shadows loom

Sitting in class, the doors remain shut and locked

Running down the street, feet hit pavement with trepidation

Praying, whatever our beliefs may be, for a spark of salvation.

When it happens in front of us we preach love

When it happens to one, it happens to all, and we seek love

When people are different than us we neglect love

Then we wonder how others can destroy love.

Another night, another headline flickers across the screen

Sorrow for the victims, anger towards the committer, emotions stimulated

Fear coils and lingers within, but so does complacency, ridiculing us all

How many more until we hear the call?

If we put guns in the hands of the perpetrators

The blood of the victims is on our hands

For all those who have been slaughtered

These scars cannot be washed away by soap and water.

Exercise and Health: Even More Benefits

After my spin class on Tuesday last week, I went through a body strength workout with slightly wobbly legs. I thought it had to do with being tired from spin, but now I’m not so sure. Later on that day, the sickness hit me, and I decided that I would definitely take my rest day on Wednesday.

It proved later on that I wasn’t ready for a workout on Thursday either because my body was still recovering and exhausted. It wasn’t even that big of a deal for most of it, but it shows how sensitive the body really can be. Even this little, brief bout of weakness tore me apart.

I remember having a horrible cold over the summer this year, being incredibly dizzy and miserable, and it just puts everything into perspective.

I say this because I talk a lot about working out and how I believe it should absolutely be a normal part of your routine. And on most days, if you have little aches and pains, are tired, have a sniffle, or feel normal, then you can hype yourself up and barrel through that workout. Sometimes you’re too tired to brush your teeth, but you still do it. Or you should…

But the same thing goes for when you aren’t feeling well. You don’t have to feel guilty about not exercising on a day or two of being sick, or a few days later. I didn’t make it back to the gym until Friday night, finding it was more important to sleep in and get that extra rest, but I took it slow.

I met my sister and we went through a body strength workout at a slower, less intense pace then I am usually up for. After, we headed over to the elliptical and did a half hour on there. As I said, at the very least, the workout put me back into my routine and awakened my appetite.

On Saturday, I wanted to fit in a run, but I knew my body was still in recovery mode. I ended up alternating between walking on an incline and running for a little over an hour. It was an excellent workout anyways, but because I took it slow, the exercise ended up motivating my recovery, rather than stifling it. Exercise should be viewed as a means to maintain a healthy, happy body. As much as it’s important to rest, it’s also important to allow it to improve your health.

Lauren and Nick met me on Sunday and I led them through two kettlebell circuits. Before they got there, I did about fifteen minutes on the elliptical to warm up. I’m happy to note that the fitbit counts steps on the elliptical. We finished the workout going between box jumps and jump roping before finishing with some planks.

It felt good and revitalizing to get my workouts flowing again.