It’s A Bird! It’s A Plane! No Actually, It’s Just a Tomato

Less than a week since my post in support of nurses went semi-viral and I’ve already descended back into mediocrity. I had a taste of fame and it slipped through my fingers. I never even had an opportunity to pull a Lindsay Lohan on everyone.

No, really, it’s fine. I’m perfectly content with my readers mostly being my family. It keeps me down to earth and fueled with motivation to better myself and all that crap.

I think maybe my posts (in jest) about the apocalypse and Taylor Swift taking over the world may have scared a few people off. But I was hoping a few more might stay!

I’ll just have to lure them back in with pictures of my meals.

We lead off with last night’s dinner. After work, I swam a mile to fit in a workout and came home ravenous!  I filled a tortilla with steak, grilled peppers, and cheese and paired the quesadilla with spinach rice and green beans.

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This morning, I kicked things off the right way with a healthy breakfast and a workout. My meal consisted of an egg and two egg whites and an english muffin with a smear of peanut butter. I don’t know where my picture went…

Starting with a spin class, which kicked my butt, I completed a dumbbell circuit, squat presses, leg presses, and a body strength circuit that left me feeling strong and tired at the same time. It’s an interesting feeling. Notice the droplet of sweat on my nose.

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After I showered and flounced around the house for a bit doing some housework, it was time for lunch. I decided to duplicate the quesadilla I made last night, but make it more gourmet. I chopped up a jalapeno and another tomato from my garden and sauteed them in a spritz of olive oil with a mound of baby spinach. Once everything was starting to cook, I added leftover bell pepper and steak to the mix. Here’s everything compiled on top of a whole wheat tortilla. Of course there’s cheese!

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Once on the plate, it is a thing of beauty. I do think I make a quesadilla better than any restaurant because it’s packed with a ton of healthy and nutritious ingredients, but also so damn delicious! For a little crunch, I added a handful of tostitos.

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It was love at first bite. I mean, really.

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Speaking of tomatoes from my garden, I would love to know what would come from it if I put in a little more effort. The tomatoes are falling off the trees and are so sweet. I also had a huge cucumber (one must have escaped the mating with zucchinis) and two more peppers are growing! One tomato was so good that it broke my knife the other day. It looks so innocent and sweet…

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But my knife knows better from where it now belongs…the trash!

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I will say that it’s also totally reasonable that the knife was just past it’s prime and I just happened to be chopping a tomato when it broke. I prefer to stand by my super-tomato theory.

Woohoo for Friday!

Apocalypse Scares and Food Photos: Just Another Tuesday

It was only a few weeks ago that I was thinking to myself how nice it was that we haven’t had any apocalypse scares as of late. My uncle would ruin this on Friday night when he told me that people were now focusing on September 23 as the end of the world. I will say that he himself did not believe it, but that all of the eery coincidences were curious, as they always are, that leave you with at least a speck of ack-what-if!?

It’s not that I’m actually scared of the apocalypse or that I believe any of the “facts” that go into it, but no doubt, whenever that date people zone in on comes to pass, there is a nagging fear in the back of my mind. It’s embarrassing. I happen to be a sucker for conspiracy theories. Again, not because I believe them, but because it makes for an intriguing story. Usually I just stick to reading Dan Brown books for my fix.

The reason I thought of a pending apocalypse in the first place was because I was watching Buffy and for a second I thought, well this isn’t that bad, but then I remembered that Buffy doesn’t actually exist and I’m not certain I trust any human enough to save the world as I would Buffy. And even though I adore Sarah Michelle Gellar, I do have the ability to separate character from actor and I don’t think she would be up for the task, at least alone. Unless of course she or someone else have already been doing that for years without us knowing, in which case, thanks bud!

So maybe there is an apocalypse scheduled for tomorrow, but probably not. There’s nothing any of us can really do at this point, so we might as well just go on living per usual until we can’t. That does mean that you can have extra ice cream tonight (or your treat of choice) just in case. At the very least, we have a few things that we can be thankful for to ease our minds as we continue onto our potentially fiery deaths.

  1. I’ve experienced mild celebrity with my blogging
  2. Donald Trump could not be made president
  3. I will not have made it to 26 and will therefore not have to come off my parents’ health insurance
  4. Chris Evans won’t have married anyone else
  5. No more snow to shovel
  6. I am finally blonde
  7. No more reality TV
  8. Since we’ll all go out together, Heaven will be way more fun
  9. There should be unlimited free wifi in Heaven (right!?)
  10. No more damn apocalypse scares

It is possible that my priorities are different than yours and that’s fine too. In all seriousness, I suspect that tomorrow will come and go and we will (mostly) all be fine, unless something personal happens to you or me, in which case, I’m sorry.

For the record, apocalypse is a difficult word to type and I feel like my fingers got in a nice workout.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll continue onto our regularly scheduled blogging. Yesterday’s workout consisted of a dumbbell strength circuit, a body strength circuit, and a swim. I was pleased to find that I wasn’t experiencing any pain after my long run, but the swim was a good antidote to easing sore muscles anyways.

Dinner was homemade chicken parm, whole wheat penne, and sautéed spinach.

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I’ve decided my next read would be Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar. I read it in high school and loved it, so I’m curious to see how I feel 8 years later. I cracked the book open as I dug into this plate of magnificent peanut butter pancakes this morning, leaving both my mind and tummy happy.

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Check back in again tomorrow for more adventures, probably.

Humbled by Fame: A How-To Guide

Whoa. This weekend has been so much fun and it has everything to do with my mild internet fame. My mom and I want to thank everyone for reading and sharing and for the overwhelming support of my latest post, which you can read here if you have no idea what I’m talking about: http://givememycrownalready.com/2015/09/19/dear-joy-behar-a-thank-you-from-a-nurses-child/.

Nurses are awesome, especially my mom and I’m so happy that so many are agreeing!

Here’s all of the wonderful things that have happened to me since I experienced the instant rush of success:

  1. I was offered my own TV show deal
  2. Chris Evans proposed
  3. Amy Poehler and I are best friends
  4. I lost 30 pounds by increasing my daily calorie allowance
  5. I made delicious pumpkin waffles

Okay, so only one of those things happened. Any guesses as to which??

Yes! You are exactly right. We’ll be married next summer and all of you are invited!

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Psh, wishful thinking. Plus, that ring would have been a whole lot bigger had it been real. Reality is more like:

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Still pretty delicious.

This weekend was fun with or without Chris Evans. On Friday, I got my day started with a dumbbell strength workout, worked, then headed to my aunt and cousin’s nail party. I got some Jamberry’s picked out based solely on my mom’s choosing all of the holiday options they have available. They were cute though so I won’t complain.

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Clearly I’ve mastered the pout.

On Saturday, I worked through the morning, but ate this yummy oatmeal to fuel me through it.

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After helping cover up the pool for the season- it’s now fall!- I had this for lunch. I’m big on waffles and eggs these days and I don’t care for which meal I eat them!

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I wrote my now famous blog post, then met my friend Katie in the city. We went to a Greek festival for dinner and ate yummy gyros and baklava before meeting another friend at a Gatsby-type themed bar.

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Sunday morning started with some grocery shopping. My mom and I met my Aunt Stacy and cousin Erin for lunch. Blackened salmon salad for the win!

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After, we all scooted over for a Paint Nite afternoon. I can totally see why people love painting, and I also love to draw, but I never know what to create without someone telling and showing me how. I have a lot to work on when it comes to painting, but I don’t think it looks half bad.

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Glowing from our newfound fame.

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It was so beautiful out yesterday and by the time I got home, my legs were itching for a run outside! I headed down to the track to run on a consistent flat surface and I felt s-t-r-o-n-g. The intention was to go 4 miles, but by the time I reached my third, I knew I was in a good place, so I kept pushing. By the end, I got to 6.4 miles (had I realized at that point I was .1 away from 6.5, I would have gone for it, but oh well). I think I honestly could have run longer had it not been dark out, but also my legs were chafing! I can’t wait to run with pants on instead of shorts because it soothes things so much better!

I watched bits and pieces of the Emmys. My goal is to one day host and I think I could do a better job than Andy Samberg who felt choppy. I suspect we got spoiled by Amy Poehler and Tina Fey so many times. Maybe within the next few years, I’ll be receiving an award for my own show and hosting, and you can say you knew me when!

How Do You Say…?

I have the unfortunate tendency to pronounce words wrong. I mean, I’m an English major and I’m good at it. When I was in fifth grade, I was the ultimate winner of Cow Dictionary. I think there were only five times or less that someone else won. The first round we ever played was a practice round and I was eliminated first and it was humiliating so I vowed never to do that again. Though one word does evade me always, kindergarten or kindergarden. “D” or “T”? I still don’t know.

Let me just say, I am a champion speller and that just proves it, except for the very last thing I mentioned. But I cannot pronounce words correctly for the life of me.

Example One: My mom was driving with my sister sitting up front and me in the back. I was browsing through a magazine and came upon a word I didn’t know the definition.

Me: Mom, what does libido mean? *pronounced li-bid-do.

Mom: Excuse me?

Lauren: Oh my God.

Me: Li-bid-do

Mom pulls over while her and my sister are choking on their laughter.

Mom: It’s li-bee-do and it means sex drive.

Lauren: You’re dumb.

Example Two: This happens all of the time so there’s no general timeframe, but I cannot pronounce the word “compromise.” I call it com-promise as in “com” and the word “promise.” I don’t know why the word isn’t just like that because it makes much more sense, but apparently whoever came up with compromise, couldn’t compromise and wanted a fancy pronunciation.

Example Three:

Me: WHOA! *wow-a*

My friend Bobby: What?

Me: WOW-A!

Bobby: It’s just whoa. There’s no “a.”

Me: There’s an “a” in the spelling.

Bobby: Just don’t talk.

Example Four: At a funeral.

Me: Mom is putting on her nurse facade. *hard “c”

Lauren: A what?

Me: A facade.

Lauren: It’s facade. *soft “c”.

Me: My whole life has been altered.

Not great.

That’s Katja creeping in the background. Where she belongs!! Just kidding Katja!

Also, I should be famous. I would be the best famous person. Not only do I have astronomical talents, but I have a slightly diva attitude that would work well in that industry. Plus, my personality is definitely larger than life that feels contained sometimes just living this life of a college student. People just don’t understand me. When I say I’m going to be famous they just look at me and walk away.

Angst. Angst. Like that Potter Puppet Pals. See, I’m perfect for theatre!

This is Bandit. He is smarter than me.