My Mind’s Screenshot

I should start out clarifying that I do indeed love my life. I have a very good one and I’m very blessed and fortunate. That being said, I also really like the life that plays out in my imagination.

Like I’m a famous writer and living (autocorrect refuses to let that be a word!?) on both coasts and all that. Being in grad school doesn’t allow much free time to live in this dream world so you take it where you can get it.

Except in these situations where you accidentally get caught or are dramatically brought down to your average, humbling life.

Like when I am envisioning myself marrying Chris Evans and suddenly I’m reminded of my eye twitch I get when I am tired or stressed out because some man who does not look like Chris Evans winks at me because he thinks I winked at him first. Which is technically correct, except not on purpose.

Or when I was picturing my NYC penthouse apartment as I walk to catch my bus with my huge bag because I do not travel lightly, I take a wrong turn, realize the error of my ways, twist, and land on my face. As it happens, a tall, dark, and handsome man does help me up but I don’t think the swears, cringing, and twitching does me any favors because when I look up, no sparks go flying. He doesnt serendipitously turn out to be my seatmate for a bus that old ages 45 minutes late, and tell me his deepest, most prolonged secrets as we waste away in traffic.

And now I’m hungry.

Do You Want A Bite Of Sandwich?

I was on the way home from my internship yesterday, sitting on the bus, listening to my ipod and minding my own business when a youngish man gets on and hits me in the head with his backpack before sitting down next to me. He elbows me multiple times on his way down and then he pulled out a foul smelling sandwich. Which hit me in the face when the bus stopped short.

His sandwich hit me in the face. In the face. And then he looked at the sandwich, looked at me, shrugged and continued eating his sandwich. It was overwhelming and I just sat in shock for a few minutes. When I get a seat though, the ride goes by much faster.

And then I FINALLY got this:

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It took me maybe two weeks to find it, but it was totally worth the wait. I don’t know whether to keep it perfectly in one piece or cover up my wall with all of the pictures. I love Chris Evans. (Commencement ball???)

My friend Christine broke her finger the other day like a dumbass twirling around two ten pound dumbbells because she “wants to look like Chris Hemsworth.” It would be amusing except that she broke her finger and is in pain and also there is a gaping hole where fat was oozing out of it.

Disgusting:

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This almost beats the time my friend Katie broke her toe Irish Step Dancing at a bar. Almost, but not quite. Sorry, Katja.

I weighed in this week and have lost 85.2 pounds. When I weighed in this morning, the scale said that I lost 86 pounds, which is exciting. I’m going commencement ball dress shopping (CHRIS EVANS???) this weekend and it will be better than prom. Except for my flying squirrel arms that I have been lathering with cocoa butter every single day, hoping for immediate results. Please and thank you.

Sorry I don’t have much else to add right now, but I’ll leave you with this image. It describes our roommate-ship perfectly. I should also mention that she has taken to trying to talk to me in her sleep lately.

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