Reflection Time

First of all, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to my mama. She’s the best.

08190F74-2DC8-4152-87DC-627785C5B76D

On Friday, I realized it had been five years since I graduated college. This made me reflective and several pages in my journal is a testament to that. The truth is, the years don’t really matter, except that we can no longer count life in “school years.” I am no longer a super-senior of real life. I just am. And yet, I still have nightmares where I’m lost in high school and can’t find my classes, so what does that signify?

IMG_1114

When the picture above was taken, I felt like I was on top of the world. I had just lost a ton of weight, I was graduating with honors, and even though I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life, I had a temporary summer job, and I figured I would figure it out. Five years later and I’ve held five different jobs, all for the better, lending to well-rounded life experiences and honing professional skills, and I keep telling myself that it’s important to figure out what you don’t want to do, as much as what you do want.

Life is not perfect or easy, but I have been blessed. There have been struggles and losses and hardships, but I’m choosing right now to focus on the good. Those top three, since graduating, include becoming a published writer, getting my personal training certification, and moving to LA- if only because I had been talking about it for five years, so it was move or shut up.

*My parents would probably like me to insert my Master’s degree into this list and while yes, this is an accomplishment, I have (un)gracefully retired from teaching and will never use the degree in the traditional sense. Call it an invisible fourth choice if you must.

I should also note that this blog is also five years old and I’ve been trying for five years to find a direction for it, but it’s been chaotic. Such is life.

Looking back at pictures of my friends, I found this gem.

IMG_1115.JPG

This was taken six years ago right before I started my weight loss journey. This girl is me, and yet, I do not recognize her. Perhaps it’s because I didn’t particularly enjoy looking in the mirror at this time. But, a few months after this was snapped, I did look at myself in the mirror, long and hard, and I discovered that I was worth more than I realized. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million times. My relationship to myself did not better after I lost weight. I chose myself and saved myself because I liked myself, and it helped me find the strength to exercise, eat right, and be kinder to my body, mind, and soul.

It’s funny that I struck this particular pose because in just a few months, I would be employing that strength, both physically and mentally, and completely uprooting my life for the better.

This blurb was longer than I expected when I first started typing, but the only other matter of the weekend I’d like to discuss is that I saw Billy Joel at Dodger Stadium and it was awesome. I love him and I’m not sorry for it.

A0724327-FBD1-48FE-AB01-C458D8C6A637

Also, Dodger Stadium looks strange without that large looming wall in left field. Just sayin..

adulting

There’s a fly (or whatever) haunting my room. It’s been here the past two nights and although it could be mental, I feel like it keeps biting me and I get itchy. I don’t think it’s bed bugs (is it bed bugs!), but it’s annoying all the same.

You’re not welcome here, fly! You’d be happier outside, promise.

Anyway, let’s start Tuesday by throwing it back to the weekend. On Friday, I crushed it at the gym (after a few days break), quickly showered, then headed out for drinks with my cousins, Dan and Meghan, to watch/listen Dan DJ. It was a fun night, but I was also battling a cold/allergies (not exactly certain), so I was really looking forward to my bed.

On Saturday, I slept in to my heart’s content before it was time to feast on a pancake breakfast. I tore it up at the gym again, went grocery shopping, and meal prepped for the week ahead. Crockpot sesame chicken update to come later this week! My friend came over for a girl’s night and we made pasta and veggies, salad, and chocolate chip cookies.

Sunday included another restful morning. I enjoyed breakfast and hydrated before running in the beautiful weather- California winters for the win! Once I was a proper sweaty mess, I hopped in the shower and heading out to meet my cousins to see Beauty and the Beast. It was good- not as magical as the animated version, but enjoyable and magical all the same.

My car was due for an oil fill, so I did the adult thing and got it done. It’s actually strange how satisfying it feels to be productive. Continuing the theme of the weekend (relaxation and productivity), I folded laundry, got my things ready for the morning, and wrote for three hours.

I’m still not sure how the weekend passed by so fast, but it was a good one. Now we’re at the point where we can start looking forward to the next one. Happy Tuesday!