Gimme Gimme More

Isn’t Britney so witty? She always has a song or lyric to describe life.

I’ve decided I want to do a bit more around here. And when I say a bit more, I mean a lot more. Not to throw me in your face or anything, but if I want to be a legitimate blogger, I need to actually blog.

Thus, I have decided to have weekly segments pop up here and there for your enjoyment. This means potentially discussing what I like to eat or do for workouts, reviews of products/movies/tv/clothes/books I enjoy, and from time to time some short stories/poems/random pieces I write.

No fear though because I will still tell you the crazy things that happen to me. Hmm, for an example, like the time I was running by myself at night, tripped AND ACTUALLY CAUGHT MYSELF but slightly twisted my ankle, so I walked the rest of the way. And then I walked right into a raccoon. The little bastard stared me down, I mean, he would not back down and I thought I saw him flex a paw at me and he looked like he might start running towards me and I was slightly injured so I was vulnerable and decided it was in my best interest to hobble as fast as I could away from there.

Lesson to be learned: I am no longer running by myself at night. Which, if I had listened to my sister in the first place, I suppose I shouldn’t have been doing that anyways. But, I blame her because she texted me I shouldn’t do it like two minutes before I fell. She basically willed bad karma on me. SHAME ON YOU LAUREN! *JK, please don’t will anything else on me, I love you. I think her and the raccoon are in cahoots….

INSERT RANDOM PICTURE OF BANDIT TO MAKE TRANSITION LESS AWKWARD.

Meow. I’m so cute, but I will eat you. Meow.

He’s pretty friggin adorable, but I think that makes him even scarier.

I just finished the first two books of the All Souls trilogy by Deborah Harkness, A Discovery of Witches and Shadow of Night. They were pretty good. I read them mostly because they were based in Oxford and I had just re-read Harry Potter (don’t judge me, asshole) and I was riding a supernatural high. But the third one hasn’t even been announced yet and by the time it comes out, I’ll probably have forgotten everything that’s happened, so that’s great… If you’re looking for a new trilogy that’s fun, British, and has good characters, then I suggest to go for it.

Lauren suggested that I link you all to a few websites that I read, and if you read through that raccoon story above, then you know that we should all probably listen to her from now on.

Anyways, here are a few of my daily sites and blogs:

The website that made me interested in blogging: http://thebloggess.com/
*I also highly recommend her book “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened.”

Good recipes, workouts, and voice: http://www.pbfingers.com/
And some health websites I enjoy:
http://www.fitsugar.com/
http://www.self.com/
http://www.shape.com/

If anyone has any suggestions for me, I am always looking, so thanks in advance. If not, shame on you. Lauren said to do it, so watch out for rabid raccoons!

Also, if anyone has any suggestions for topics or anything else they’d like to see around here, please don’t hesitate to throw it out there either on here or Facebook or Twitter. Again, please comment or give me feedback! Sometimes, I feel like I’m talking to myself and I already do enough of that otherwise!

Follow me on Twitter @Lady_Brightly or on Pinterest @ladyxbrightly.

Thanks!!!!!!!

A Love Letter To Weight Watchers And Why It’s Time To Say Goodbye

Dear Weight Watchers,

It’s not you, it’s me. And I mean that. You see, it’s been quite the past year between the two of us. You changed my life for the better and words will never be able to describe just what you have helped me to do.

90 pounds down in one year. Life lessons learned. You saved my life.

What’s the problem then? Well, you see, 90 pounds lost is amazing. Incredible. Much more than I ever thought possible. But I still have a bit more to go. How much? I’m uncertain, but right now I’m focusing on those last ten pounds.

This summer, I didn’t gain one ounce and I can’t say I wasn’t a little heavy-handed on the ice cream scooper. See, summer is my hard time. For some people, it’s the holiday season but for me it’s the warmth. I so much as sniff a flower growing and I want ice cream. But because of what I learned from you, I knew to take what I wanted and didn’t overindulge elsewhere like I would have done in the past.

But the problem is, I didn’t lose an ounce either. Now, I know that once I get down to a certain point, weight loss will be slower. But I haven’t lost a pound since June 1 and it’s time I stop thinking that my pace has slowed naturally and start realizing that there’s something deeper I need to address.

It’s not so much that you’re the problem as you are aiding my problem. As I have discussed before on this blog, lately I can’t get out of my own way. I now know why that is. I’m being obsessive. I’m regressing into past issues with obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety and I’m obsessively following a plan without realizing what I’m doing.

I’m not living in the moment. I’m not realizing me in that moment.

Changes must happen now and I think it’s time I try it on my own. I’m giving it a month to measure how I do. If I start gaining back weight or feel like it’s not working, then I’ll come back to you in an instant. But I’m really hoping that’s not the case.

See, it’s not an issue at all. You did all I asked of you and more. Maybe you were a little too good at your job. You taught me how to eat right, to exercise more, and have portion and self-control. You kept me in line and made me aware of my habits. You helped me lose 90 pounds, but we both know that the depth of what losing that 90 pounds means is much deeper than my weight.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it 1,000,000 times more. You saved my life. You gave me hope. You made me realize me and my potential.

I think it’s time I start listening to those instincts you helped me hone on my own. I need to listen to my body, mind, and soul. I need to do it without the points and without the system. I need to just feel. And because of you and because of me, because of what we did together, I know I can do this.

The fact that I stopped losing weight at 90 pounds is not the biggest issue. Yes, I’d like to lose a bit more and get more toned, but that’s not the most important thing to me.

Being at this standstill and blindly following without the awareness has made me lose sight of what I have done. I’m too focused on the end result and to be honest, I still don’t know exactly what the end result is.

I need to focus on the journey. I need to be aware of every moment. I need to listen to my instincts, signals, and feelings.

Just know that without you, none of this happens. Not the beginning, the middle, nor the end. I’m not saying you don’t work because clearly you do. It’s just time, like any great parent/mentor-child/mentee relationship. You need to let me go. And I need to be confident that I can do things on my own.

My journey has not ended, it’s just taking a different path. And maybe there will come a time when our paths meet again.

But I think we’re both hoping that won’t be the case.

Goodbye dear friend, and thank you for my life.